Thursday, August 25, 2011

TITLE SPACE LEFT BLANK INTENTIONALLY......

Hi everyone,

Hmm….I know.... I know….my updates are coming in a very l

ong time, thousands of people everyday wait for my blog updates. You know what...!! Some girls in New York were fasting from last 10 days; they demand to see my blog updated.... That is why I am here....he he.... yes....I am not joking.....its true...I have many fans......trust me.....

Today my beloved friends, I’ll be talking about a very serious (and bold) topic...which most of the people in this world avoids talking about.......

No; ....you guessed it wrong.......the topic is “Toilet behaviour and etiquettes”.......Observe the scene below...:

Imagine you were partying all night (for most of us...partying means eating all night) and you have to reach at your office at 8’o clock in the morning....your office is around 40 km from main city.....what issues will you face??.....ONE.....you might get up early...do your daily business on time....and move out at 6:45 am...TWO.....you wake up late...don’t have enough time to get ready...still you anyhow managed to get a shower and brushed your teeth......BUT because of the butter chicken + chole bhature + Benjo you ate last night, your body may have delayed your bowels, as if body says............I love this food....let it remain with me for a while.......now.... do baatein hongi...if you know your work place don’t have a good place to “clear your bowels”...then you’ll skip your bath and immediately try to do it.....ELSE....you know your workplace have a bathroom (that too....a clean one) you’ll definitely go there once you reach the office.....AND.....you in lightening speed (+ pressure) zooms in your office premises and run towards the toilet(in the most formal way as possible....wishing “hello”...”hi”...”good morning ”...to everyone)........

Only to find it already occupied with the same colleague + friend with whom you were on a eating spree a night before.....on the name of your friendship.....and humbly showing respect towards the pressure exerted by your intestine....your friend came out..As if showing you the gate to heaven... (For some moments it is actually heaven)......and then you find out the “heaven” is filled with “messy memories” of the person who used it earlier..........what will you do.........!!!!!!!

That is why I decided to point out some toilet etiquettes for you all....

P.S.: - It’s really a serious concern......!!!...... Don’t laugh.....

  • Toilet etiquettes are all about hygiene and cleanliness.
  • Always Flush....Flush......Flush...before and after your usual business, AND.....If you wish to do it in between also.....but are frightened by the environment activists for the reason of wasting water, don’t worry....they cannot catch you there.
  • Nobody likes to clean up someone else’s mess, and so it makes sense for everyone to clean up....
  • Be Hygienic.....always.......
  • Respect the rights of others to privacy and cleanliness.
  • Don’t take reading materials inside the toilet; god knows some day on the same paper you may get yourself served some “chana choor garam
  • Don’t peak under the doors; knock if the cubicle appears to be occupied.....so simple....
  • Lock the cubicle whenever you are inside....you may embarrass someone....or you may sing a song if you sound good
  • While at the urinal, never turn to look directly or sideways at anyone standing there.
  • Especially, do not look in his direction any lower than his face.......
  • Sit on the pan if you are unsteady on your feet....and yes....for the opposite gender...sitting is compulsory
  • Laptop bags and ladies handbags pick up lots of germs if taken into the toilet, avoid placing them on the kitchen table or the canteen.
  • Used materials, polythene bags, toilet paper should not be flushed down the toilet....you all know the reason....
  • Don’t graffiti the toilet, it devaluates your name and talent......
  • Leave the toilet cubicle door ajar (slightly open) when you leave...to indicate it’s unoccupied.
  • The newest of all rules......Wash your hands...with soap

Now....some tips for those who are not blessed with a toilet....anything can happen....you might be travelling...OR since your office have a large jungle bush behind the premises....Therefore the management may not be interested in constructing one......

  • You must attend the natures call on a site away from lakes, streams etc.
  • Find some props in jungle and dig a hole deep enough to completely cover waste matter.
  • Watch out for snakes, spiders and creepy crawlies....they have rights too....
  • And friends...if you are peeing in the bush...do it down the wind.....no one is asking you for a proof

I hope my valuable suggestions will help you all a lot...and if any of the readers have some time to make me happy by the increasing number of comments....you can share your experience and suggestions as well....

Yours,

Aditya . . .

2 comments:

  1. yesterday my, sorry ours very good friend who is working with me..yes! you gues it right! entered into the bus and said to me-'yaar jaldi college,pahucha de bus wale bhaiyya aj to!'
    The reason is understandable!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Indeed post! This suggestions would definitely help a lot.
    Reached here via your LinkedIn profile, stay connected!

    ReplyDelete